Once the date and place are set, word needs to reach a lot of people quickly, and most of them will have the same questions: when, where, where to park, whether they can bring flowers. This guide covers what to include, who to tell first, and simple ways to share it so you aren't answering the same message all week.
Who to tell first
Close family and friends should hear about the death, and the funeral, from a person rather than a post. A phone call or a visit is kinder, and it stops anyone finding out from social media. Once the people closest have been told, it's fine to share the details more widely.
It helps to ask one or two people to pass the details on to their own circles: a work group, a sports club, a church, old school friends. Our guide to who to notify when someone dies has a fuller list.
What to include
- The date and start time, and roughly how long it will run
- The venue name and full address, with a map link if you can
- A livestream link and start time, for people who can't travel
- The gathering afterwards, if there is one, with the address and time
- What to wear, if you'd like something particular, such as a favourite colour
- Flowers or donations, and the charity if you've chosen one
- Whether to let you know they're coming, and by when, if you need numbers for the venue or catering
Leave out anything that doesn't need to be public. A home address, or the times the house will be empty, is best kept to people you know.
Ways to share the details
A text or group chat
Fast, and most people read a text straight away. Keep it short, put the date, time and place first, and paste the same message to each group so everyone has the same details.
Useful for workplaces, clubs and people who prefer a message they can keep and forward.
Social media
A post reaches people you might not think of, such as old colleagues and friends who've moved away. Share it only after close family have been told, and check with the family before posting if it isn't your news to share.
A death notice
A death notice in a newspaper or online can include the funeral details. Our guide on how to write a death notice explains what to include.
A phone call
For older relatives and friends who aren't online much, a call is still the most reliable way. It's a good job to give to someone who offers to help.
Use one set of details
Details change. The time moves, a livestream link arrives late, or the venue for afterwards is confirmed. When the details are copied into many separate messages, some people end up with the old version. Sharing one link that you can update, or one message that people forward without changing, keeps everyone on the same page.
With Remember Well• Access, Share farewell details turns the details in your planner into one private page. Guests can open the map, add the service to their calendar, find the livestream, and let you know if they're coming. You can see a sample page with made-up details.
A simple message you can adapt
The funeral for [name] will be on [day and date] at [time] at [venue], [address]. Afterwards, everyone is welcome at [place] from [time]. If you can't be there, the service will be livestreamed at [link]. [The family would welcome donations to [charity] in place of flowers.] Please let [name] know if you're coming by [date].
If people ask how they can help
Many will. It's fine to say yes and be specific: passing on the details, collecting photos, bringing food to the gathering, or driving someone who can't get there. Our guide on how to support a grieving friend is useful to share with friends who want to help but don't know how.
Keep the details in one place.
Remember Well•'s planner holds the date, time, venue and livestream, and with Access you can share them with one link.
Start freeBuilt in Australia from lived experience. Your information is private and never shared or sold.
Common questions
How soon should funeral details be shared?
As soon as the date, time and venue are confirmed with the funeral director. Close family should be told about the death first, by phone or in person.
Is it OK to share funeral details on Facebook?
Yes, once close family have been told and agree. Keep the post to the service details and avoid sharing a home address.
Should I ask people to let me know if they're coming?
It helps if the venue has limited space or you're arranging catering. Give a date to reply by, a few days before the service.
What if the details change?
Send the update to everyone who received the first message, or use one link that you can update, so nobody turns up at the wrong time.
This is general information. Check the service details with your funeral director before you share them.